The Chinese New Year of the Earth Dog:

[February 15th, 2018 – February 4th, 2019]

*Dedicated to the memory of the beloved daschund Seymour Edut, of

RIP August 21st, 2017*


Woof, woof! Bark,bark!

Welcome Chinese New Year, Earth Dog!

Grounding and guarding us,

Onwards and upwards through Neptune’s fog.

No matter your Dogon tribe, gender, colo(u)r or creed,

Select a Pedigree chum, maybe an intriguing cross-breed.

Willow the Labrapoodle, anyone?


A New Year to speak up and out: got something to confess?

Scooping poop, cleaning up dog foul. Ugh, the doggone dog mess!

Like Hercules slaying Cerberus,

#Time’s Up! Monstrous, dirty dogs

Enough of wagging  #TheHandmaiden’sTale

’cause the female of the species?

Now fiercely #awoke than the male!


A sobering year forgoing wilful, wanton hubris;

Avoiding embalmment by dog-headed Anubis!

But a stellar year looking UP Canis major;

dog-whistling in a Canis minor key.

Seriously get your glow on!

Shine binary dog stars:

Sirius A, and companion pup, Sirius B.


A year for nurturing abandoned, vulnerable, rescue dogs

A year for championing underrepresented #Underdogs.

Rest up harried greyhounds. Bow! wow! wow!

Say farewell to the dog track, Yat Yuen in Macau.

Calling out the hidden, inhumane, worldwide animal cruelty;

Visiting a dog-shelter? Donate one-time or for in perpetuity.



No bones of contention, it’s a boon year for:

Dog handlers, dog trainers and deluxe spa dog grooming;

multi-tasking dog walkers, dog-friendly biznesses BOOMING.

Dial-A-Dog wash and (fe)male dog whisperers, anyone?

Super-sleuthing curious night-time incidents of sneaky dog napping!

Hush puppies. Listen up for the zen silence of paws and claws clapping.


Woof, woof! bark, bark!

Keenest of hearing, the most sensitive nose

Earth dogs grounding us: adopting the child’s pose

Bird dog! Downward dog! Upward dog! 

Easy to follow inspirational dog yoga

Hello canine guru. Namastay canine yoda.


Aquarius, Gemini, Libra: insatiably curious to know

“How much is that doggie in the window?

The one with the wagg-ely tail…”


B-school graduation? At last, from Deputy dog to TOP dawg!

Take a brolly Mizz Molly, borderline collie – it’s raining cats and dogs.

A breakthrough year for medical detection dogs:

Sniffing out early signs, benign tumo(u)rs; possibly metastatic cancers!

Walking a yapping dog? Spotify spotted dogs, the Rhythm is a dancer.


Alas, inevitable Mercury Retrogrades! Infuriating as Lola the lazy greyhound bitch

Like fluffy dog hairs everywhere causing mass mizz_communication glitch_es.

Doggone it Mercury Retrograde! You an’t nothing but a hound dog!

Hound of the Baskervilles, Hounds of Love

Surprise retro reprise: Donny Osmond Puppy Love.


Someone please call HR on the dog and bone [i.e telephone]

We need to talk about #Pawternity leave.

Farewell Seymour Edut, for you we collectively grieve…


And for the pioneering dog tragically lost in space: Laika the Muscovite stray.

Straying into the Doll+Dog, Parisienne cafe?  Beware the cabal of ferocious ferals.

Just one bite could mean femme fatale attraction or doomed rabies peril.

Rabid, barking “mad dog” Colonel Gaddafi

Quarantined snarling darlings, in his harem, the Dogs of War!

Doberman’s, Rotweilers and Pitbull on a worldwide Harem scarem tour.

Sound check far worse than their woof, woof Barkbelly bite;

Keeping canine calm in a territorial world, gonna be a year-long dog-fight!


Challenging group think ideology and institutional dog-eared dogma.

Decoding Yiddish or somebody’s doggerel verse

Solo monopoly dogs!

Meet-and-greet your doppelganger for better, for worse.


When Uranus transits Taurus [ May 15th, 2018+]

Expect unexpected vocal allegations, unearthy revelations.

Sober and somber, blacking out the year’s velvet roped red carpets

Yikes! Fashionista dogs in haute harness frocks

But still rocking up glam slam: the dog’s bollocks.

Hounds-tooth silk tie or shearling dog-collar?

Labrapoodle skirts worth a pawful of dollars.


The Prodigy’s fetish for dogs: why you smacking my bitch up?

Digging for Truth: Like Parsifal’s quest for the holy grail cup.

#Time’s up salty dogs! Evolve and learn some new tricks!

Whiplash then tickle me with your furry rhythm schtick!!


City and rural dogs love retrieving earthbound sticks

Shag-pile dogs welcome your sublimely erotic forty licks.

Seeking loyalty points? Gotta learn and earn the Dog’s Trust.

Gotta pass the scratch and sniff test before swooning for doggy lust.

Frisky dogs on heat. Hot dogs: Springing feverish times

panting, panting out of breath, tantric mantra:

Slow down, deep breaths, Ooh yes! doggy-style.


When Jupiter enters Sagittarius [November 8th, 2018+]

Obsessed Astrostyle peeps get ready:

Upward dog! Downward dog! Bird dog and shout:

Whaddayya mean Commissioner Jellybean:

Who, who, who, who let the dogs OUT?…


#Cosmic canines, faithful, loyal #PackAnimals

Heracles slaying Cerbreus. Elephantine dog Hannibal.

Aibo, the AI Robo dogClever dogs and slumdog millionaires;

Elon Musk, doggedly determined future-forward billionaire.

Uber dogs driving Miss Daisy; drone dog deliveries beyond the stars

Dog pheromones: fly-trapping Venus, sizzling on Mars.


Saturn in Capricorn dogs #TalkaboutGOALS.

Absolutely no ifs, no Kardashian butts!

Get down to earth: petite pooches and minxy mutts.

Bob-sledding Siberian huskies, German Shepherds/Alsatians

Mesmerizing Venus in Pisces Olympic figure skating,

animating polka-dotted 101 Dalmatians.


Water signs? Resevoir dogs.

Meatloaf dog, Bell-ringer for love?

Salivating Pavlovian dogs.

When (Prince) Harry weds Meghan (Markle), serenading Her Majesty’s corgi’s

Gershwin’s operatic summertime aria, dynamic dog duo, Bess and Porgy.


Dog treating Virgo owners: why so thrifty, why frou frou frugal?

The Magic Roundabout’s  Skye Terrier dog, SUPERSIZED Dougal.

Dog meat treats: savo(u)ry sweet seduction by cookie, by biscuit;

Got impatient dogs? Make it snappy, treat ’em double quick!!

Bow, wow,wow! Dingoes going wild in the country;

Wait! Sit! Walk on! Unruly, rebellious dog, Leon Trotsky.


Meet Lula and Ziggy: adorable black cockapoos.

Cartoon dogs: Buster, stupid silly boxer and Scooby, Scooby Do!

Snoopy’s no.1 superfan? The Doggfather: Snoop Dogg.

Best in Show dog? Pimped and primed for Crufts?

Good boyyy/girrrl/dog, dog!


Aah, Cute #Office dog Georgie the Shih Tzu

Online survey: who goes, who stays?

A simple happiness cure?


unless #NSFW Dark web alert! #Watchdogs unleashed


Police dogs jumping through hoops, rallying Dogon tribes, rallying troops;

Caution: Patrol search & dog team. Sniffing for illegal firearms and drugs.

Sniffing out rotting odo(u)rs. Praise vets for pets tending dog’s lugs.


Hey What’s up Barkbelly? Sniffed out that vibe from R.Kelly?

Where on Earth is Doctor Who’s K-9?

Earth dog’s unconditional love requited, genuine.

Walkies Toto! Wizard of Oz dog. Yellow brick roading beyond Neptune’s fog.


Superbowl mascot: Goldie the retriever, dog wide receiever;

The Monkees Mars in Pisces dogs, : Yes y’all, I’m a Believer!

Lady Barber’s surrogate children – her Yorkshire terriers,

Jarvis the cocker spaniel, common people, the more the merrier.

Brewdog, Red Dog,

#DarkestHour, Churchill’s Black dog.

British bulldogs: squashed faces lookalike mugs;

Cyndi Lauper sings with Gordy, her black pug.


Phwoarr! Morning glory? Dog breath and bristling whiskers;

No escaping “Brexit” is a dog’s breakfast and a dog’s dinner!

Let bygones be bygones; Let’s live and let die

Let it be and  Let sleeping dogs lie

Eclipsed in the doghouse, the dog days of summer.


Praise be the guide dogs leading the blind and partially-sighted;

mountain rescuecompanion dogs consoling the broken-hearted.

In the Chinese New Year of the dog, we can always depend

on our Earth dogs, our faithful, loyal four-legged friends.

Woof, woof! bark, bark!


(c) Myke Kofi 2018 *70s dog*